Author Archives: Carol Paxman

What Lessons Did I Teach

What has divorce taught our children about love? I worry about what my divorce has taught Hailey about love and marriage. Unfortunately, most of the people she knows have been divorced, at least once. What does this teach our kids? When I was growing up all of my friends parents were married, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, were all married, to their original spouses. The only divorced person I knew was my mother. It’s the opposite for Hailey, she knows hardly anyone with an intact family. There are a few here and there but it seems they are the exception … Continue reading →

I’m Stomping My Foot!

Some days I want to run away. I’m tired of being unappreciated. I’m tired of being the one who is the mean parent because Hailey is my responsibility 24/7. I’m tired of being the one who seems to say no more than yes. I’m tired of not being able to be the fun parent because I’m too busy working, making dinner, doing laundry, wiping noses, checking homework and worrying to have much time for fun. Does every single mother feel this way? I think we all do, there isn’t anything unique about my situation. I’m the full time parent, even … Continue reading →

What Would You Change?

If you could turn back time what would you change? I’ve thought about this a lot. How many times have you wished you could do things over, make different choices? It makes me sad that I wasn’t married once, for the rest of my life, I wish I had made better choices. When I see how much value my home has lost and how upside down I am in it I wish I could go back and undo that choice. I wish I had gone to college, had more children, written a novel, been a better mother, sister, friend. So … Continue reading →

More Laundry Tips

In my quest to simplify most household tasks I’ve gotten the laundry room organized and running smoothly. My last post was about sorting laundry and doing a load every day to cut down on the enormity of the task. Today I have some tips and tricks I’ve collected that help make laundry even easier. *Instead of sorting and mating socks, trying to figure out if those white socks are your husbands or your teenagers, give each person a mess delicates laundry bag. Collect the bags once a week, zip closed, toss in the washer and dryer and then return to … Continue reading →

Try Not To Worry So Much

From the moment your first child is born it seems that you are now started on a life of worry. You watch your child sleep and you can’t help but think what life would be like if something happened to them. As parents we worry about everything. When you become a single parent the worry increases. Now, added to the normal worries of every parent, you are plagued with worry about how your choices are going to affect your child. It’s normal to worry about your kids but too much worry is counterproductive. It takes you out of the enjoyment … Continue reading →

Taming Never Ending Chores

Some jobs are never ending and laundry is one of those. All we can do is make it as easy as possible so they can be done almost without thinking. I’ve finally gotten my laundry under control and organized to the point where it almost does itself. Not really, but it is faster and easier and seems like less work. I used to do laundry on Saturday, save up all our dirty clothes for a whole week and then waste a beautiful weekend day getting them all clean again. I finally stopped doing that and gained an entire Saturday. The … Continue reading →

We All Have Our Reasons

I recently met a woman at the gym and we’ve become gym buddies. Last week after our Zumba class we were in the parking lot talking. She knows I’m a single mother and she confided in me that she is thinking of asking her husband for a divorce. I told her I was sorry and asked what the problem was, her answer? He drives a truck for a living and is gone most of the time, she is tired of him never being home. I took her out to coffee and we talked more. Her stance on single parenthood is … Continue reading →

The First Step

One thing you hear a lot as a single parent is, “ I don’t know how you do it.” My answer is always, you would be surprised what you can do when you have to. When it first became apparent that divorce might not be just something that happened to other people, I started looking at my options. I remember crying because the only place I could afford to live was a place I wouldn’t live. I decided right then I need to make some changes in my life. I had always believed that my income was “extra”, my husband … Continue reading →

Perfectionism Is Keeping Me From Getting Things Done

As a perfectionist I often overwhelm myself. My good intentions always lead to half finished chores and messes I walk away from because I overwhelm myself. I have such high expectations, after all if a job is worth doing it’s worth doing right. That statement right there is my downfall. A typical project will go something like this: Today is a perfect day to clean the garage! I’ll go out in to the garage and start going through boxes and bags and shelves, bagging up stuff that can be donated, tossing things that are broken or missing pieces and then … Continue reading →

Schedule Everything!

I never realized how important a schedule was until I was a mom. When I became a single mother I found that schedules were even more important than I thought, and not just for Hailey, for me too. I soon discovered in the first months of craziness that is single parenting that I could not get a thing done. Laundry would be washed but not folded, dinner cooked but not cleaned up, grocery lists made but forgotten. Everything quickly got out of hand. I had to get my home life under control so I could make sure that Hailey and … Continue reading →