Author Archives: Kathy Sheldon

About Kathy Sheldon

My name is Kathy Sheldon and I live in Northern NJ with my husband, Jeff, my 15 month old son, Connor, two cats, a bird, and the newest addition our 10 week old Bernese Mountain puppy. I graduated from Buffalo State College and then went on to earn a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from Pace University. Prior to my son being born I worked for 7 years in a Domestic Violence Shelter in New York City with women and their children. I counseled women and their families individually and in groups. For the last five years at the shelter I was in administration and management. I resigned from my position as Director of Client Services after Connor was born because my commute into New York City was too long from where we live. When my son Connor was 4 months old I decided to start my Direct Sales Business with the Traveling Vineyard. I chose In Home Wine Tastings because I really enjoy wine and wanted to learn more about it. It was then that I started to write my first blog, "Traveling Wine Adventures." Since my son was adopted and my husband, and I had such a wonderful experience with our adoption and American Adoptions, I inquired with them about doing Adoption Home Studies and was hired contractually in September. I also have started to do Adoption Seminars locally for prospective adoptive parents. In August of 2005 I started my second blog "Working Moms Wanted". I started it because I found myself in place like many new Moms, needing to find work but not knowing if it would be better to work out of my home or get an outside job. My husband and I are socially active people and enjoy spending a lot of our time with families in the neighborhood and our own families. In addition we enjoy many hobbies. I enjoy running, reading, writing, cooking, and of course spending time with Connor.

Advantages of Closed Adoption?

I was doing research on closed adoption with the intent of finding supporting reasons why I believe that closed adoption does not have any real benefit for the adoption triad today. Therefore, I was surprised to find on the American Pregnancy Association’s website a list of advantages for a closed adoption. First, let me say that a closed adoption by definition means that the adoptive family and birthmother or birthparents do not share any identifying information with each other and they do not have any type of established relationship with each other or the child once the baby has been … Continue reading →

Book Review: Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child by Dr. Kathy Lancaster

I came across the “Book Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child” by Dr. Kathy Lancaster while waiting for my son to be born. During that time I read a number of books on parenting adopted children, but especially enjoyed this book because she writes clearly and concisely on a number of adoption topics including, but not limited to, bonding and attachment, developmental stages of children and adoption, and special needs adoption. It is also a very readable book that is easy is to understand and is not laden with medical and psychological jargon. Dr. Kathy Lancaster is also a parent … Continue reading →

The Adoption Home Study Process, Part 2 – Supporting Documents

There are a number of supporting documents that are required of a couple or person who are going through the Home Study Process. It’s a good idea to collect these documents early on, so you are not scrambling before your social worker comes to complete the Interview portion of the Home Study. The agency that is providing the Home Study will often provide you with a checklist to use to help keep tract of the documents you have and will need to get. If the agency does not provide a list, it is good idea to write up a list, … Continue reading →

What is a Birthmother Going Through?

“What is a birthmother going through?” is obviously a question that I could never answer. I can only imagine that she must go through a number of emotions throughout her pregnancy and then when she places the baby for adoption. I assume that when she finds out she is pregnant she must be scared, confused, and not always sure where to turn. I would think that for many the choice of adoption for their child is a very difficult decision, but then I have also heard that some birthmothers knew from the beginning that adoption was the only option for … Continue reading →

The Adoption Home Study Process, Part 1

When you have decided to start the adoption process the first step you will want to take is to start preparing for the Home Study. The Home Study is the process whereby an individual or couple, undergo a study by a licensed public or private agency to assure the well being of the child in the home and the readiness of the family to adopt. The Home Study is required for all prospective adoptive families no matter what type of adoption may be pursued. Home Study requirements will vary from agency to agency, but every Home Study will have state … Continue reading →

What to Expect From a Home Study

For many prospective adoptive parents the thought of the Home Study can be very frightening or intimidating experience. After all, an individual who you have never met before comes into your house and asks you very personal questions about your childhood, your family, your marriage and your financial situation, among other topics. For those who have never had much experience with a Social Services Agency or Counseling, this assessment of your life can feel very intrusive. As my husband stated “you feel like your whole life is under scrutiny.” Further, your future dreams and hopes are in the hands of … Continue reading →

Overview of the Agency Adoption Process – Domestic Adoption, Part 3.

The next phase of your adoption journey, before the baby is born, is the time between when you get a match until the birth of your baby. This period can be very exciting with the expectation of a new baby on the way. But yet during this time there can be some fear and apprehension of what could go wrong. For instance, talking and meeting with the birthmother, fear that the birthmother may change her mind, and just hoping that everything will go well with her pregnancy. As a couple, you have already have come far in your adoption journey. … Continue reading →

Overview of the Agency Adoption Process – Domestic Adoption, Part 2.

Once my husband and I were involved in our adoption journey I came to feel that there were three distinct phases to the process. The first phase was getting prepared to become a member of the adoption agency. Tasks that were included in this phase were applying to the agency, filling out questionnaires, completing the Home Study, and completing our Family Profile. I described these steps in my previous post, Overview of the Agency Adoption Process – Domestic Adoption, Part 1. The second part of the phase was the waiting for a match with a birthmother, which I will describe … Continue reading →

Overview of the Agency Adoption Process – Domestic Adoption, Part 1.

When my husband and I started the Adoption Process we were excited and eager. We were finally going to build the family we had intended on building years ago. We told our friends and families. We were going to start the adoption process in September of 2003 and hoped by the same time in 2004 we would have our baby. And one year later in September of 2004 on Labor Day, Connor was born. But looking back to the beginning of our process I remember being prepared for what could have been an overwhelming and complex process. At the time … Continue reading →

Which Agency Do We Choose?

Deciding on an Adoption Agency is not always as an easy decision. You have decide which agency is going to be the best suited to fit your needs. I conduct monthly seminars for American Adoptions, which we adopted our son through. During the seminar I always let couples know that although I am here representing the American Adoptions Agency, this agency may not be suited for every couple. The seminar is not meant to convince people to join the agency but to give information to see if American Adoptions would be the right fit for them and will it meet … Continue reading →