Author Archives: Fran Hopkins

About Turning 50 and Being Single

This Friday, April 21, I’ll be 50 years old. Fifty and single. I never really thought about that until now. It never occurred to me that I would hit the big 5-0 as a widowed single Mom. To be honest, there’s a part of me that feels like – dare I say it? – an old maid. A spinster. Just to be sure, I looked up the definition of “spinster” and this is what Webster has to say about it: Spinster – an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying. Well, that does describe me, doesn’t … Continue reading →

Time YOUR Growth with the Spring’s

Springtime is a fantastic time of year. Spring literally bursts with life and promise and growth. It’s impossible for some of that feeling not to rub off on you! This makes it an ideal time to take stock of our lives, of where we and our kids are today and where we want to be tomorrow. Just as in our gardens, we can plant the seeds now for the dreams we hope to realize in the future. I’m going to try to take advantage of this positive, optimistic feeling to pause (if I can!) and consider if what I’m doing … Continue reading →

Looking for the Good When Things Look Bad (Some Holiday Thoughts)

I’m going through my usual “down in the dumps” holiday slump at the moment. But you know what? I am so tired of it. I’m so bored with feeling sad when everyone else (right?) is perfectly happy with their lives. No one else is thinking of those they’ve lost, of things that are difficult and/or painful in their lives: things that make it hard to feel happy. So instead of feeling powerless, I want to be powerful. I want to consciously and deliberately choose to be positive and hopeful, to look ahead with hope and joy to the future. There’s … Continue reading →

“Sticks and Stones…” — Words CAN Hurt

“They’re having a cardiac arrest over at XYZ Honda this week, the prices have been cut so low..…” “If you kids keep this up, you’re going to give me a heart attack.” “That actress is drop-dead gorgeous.” After my husband died suddenly of a heart attack (actually, a heart attack followed by cardiac arrest), I was never again able to watch one of my favorite shows at the time, “ER.” That’s because nearly every episode included a dramatic scene in which doctors attempted to restart a patient’s heart with a defibrillator: a machine that delivers an electric shock to a … Continue reading →

Your Mental Health: Its Possible Impact on Your Children

Do you ever worry that your own problems with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues may be affecting your children? If you do, you have good reason to. In 2004, a study was done of 822 children between the ages of three and 12 who lived with both parents. The researchers found that, when both parents reported symptoms of anxiety and depression, their children had more problems with behaviors like abrupt mood changes, cheating, lying, disobedience, bullying, stubbornness, impulsiveness and a bad temper. They also found that, if only the mother had anxiety and depression but the father didn’t, … Continue reading →

How to Deal with Anger and Self-Doubt as a Single Parent

I can’t say for sure if single parents are more likely to experience feelings of anger and self-doubt from time to time, but it just makes sense to me. We can be angry about so many things: being divorced or being widowed, for starters. This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. We didn’t plan on this. We didn’t want this and we didn’t ask for this. Who wouldn’t be angry? Since we can’t go around in a perpetual rage, though, most of us tend to stuff these really bad feelings away. I know I do. Then there’s self-doubt. … Continue reading →

Is Single Parenting Funny? Watch “The New Adventures of Old Christine” and Find Out

During one of my regular sweeps of the Internet for information of interest to single parents, I spotted an item about a new “single parent comedy” (sounds like an oxymoron to me) called “The New Adventures of Old Christine.” Has anyone seen this yet? Apparently it premiered on March 13. 2006. The show, which stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus, is summarized at www.tv.com as follows: The New Adventures of Old Christine is a new comedy about a 35-year-old divorced mom (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Seinfeld),who runs a 30-minute female-only gym with Ali (Amy Farrington) and tries to keep pace with everyone around her. That … Continue reading →

Self-Employed, Homeschooling Single Parent Considering a Master’s Program – Am I Crazy?

As if time isn’t already tight, tonight I feel strangely drawn toward pursuing an MBA. The only reason I’m mulling this now is because I was on the phone for an hour this evening, enrolling my son in a high school independent study program. For a couple of months my son and I have been trying an “eclectic” approach to homeschooling, but it hasn’t been working particularly well for either of us. We came to the conclusion that we both need something with more structure. I honestly think that it has to do with both of us having ADHD; neither … Continue reading →

What It’s Like to be Robbed of “Forever”

A little while ago a song came on the radio. It was the version of “Cruisin’” with Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow. One of the lines goes like this: “And if you want it, you got it forever…” For some reason, tonight that line managed to pierce right through my emotional armor. When I heard it, what immediately popped into my head was, “I don’t believe in forever…yes I do…no I don’t.” Suddenly there were tears in my eyes. “Forever” feels like a cruel joke when your spouse dies young. I’ve always been a total romantic. I want so much … Continue reading →

Life Coaching for Single Parents: An Interview with Kristi McClanahan, ACG

Kristi McClanahan, ACG (ADD Coach Academy Graduate), is a life coach who works with both parents and children, including children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Last week I interviewed Kristi about life coaching and how it can be beneficial to single parents. First, in case you’re wondering what I’m talking about: a life coach is a person who’s professionally trained to help people achieve balance and fulfillment in their lives in such areas as career, interpersonal relationships, health and fitness, and finances. Life coaching can help you take action to create the changes you want in your life. Q. … Continue reading →