Author Archives: Shoshanna Grey

When Others Don’t Approve

No matter what you do in life, it seems like you encounter someone who does not approve of what you are doing. Adoption is no exception. It seems like everyone has an opinion and some of them aren’t very positive. We have been in the process of adoption for 9 months and while most of the people we have encountered have been very positive, we have also run into people who thought it was a bad idea. It is hard to know what to do or what to say when you encounter opposition. By the time you make the decision … Continue reading →

Private Domestic Adoption

I spend a lot of time on a number of adoption forums and there is one situation that has come up enough that I thought it warranted discussion. The question is usually along these lines: “A friend of mine called me because she knows we are interested in adopting. Apparently her niece is pregnant and wants to make an adoption plan for the baby. We have talked and she wants us to adopt her baby. How do we proceed from here?” What this person wants to do would be classified as a Private Domestic Adoption. Basically, they are going to … Continue reading →

What to Do When People Keep Asking

One of the frustrating things about adoption is all of the unknowns. The one that bothers me the most is that there is no timeframe. Sure, your agency can give you an estimate, but those estimates are really more like guesses. As in, you guess is as good as mine. That is hard to explain to all of those people who are interested in you and your adoption and keep asking, “So, when is your child coming home?” I have known people who purposely didn’t tell anyone about their adoption plans because they didn’t want to answer questions. If you … Continue reading →

Everyone Wants to Adopt A Girl

There is an interesting phenomenon in international adoption – the gender divide. For some reason, everyone wants girls. Statistically, 95% of people starting out in international adoption say that they want a girl and roughly 80% will end up adopting a girl, even if it means that they have to wait longer for a girl to be available. Personally, I don’t understand this trend. From the time that my husband and I began to talk about children, we always wanted our first to be a boy. When we were trying to get pregnant, we both hoped that our child would … Continue reading →

“Brangelina” Article Backlash

An article titled “How to Shop for Children the Bradgelina Way”, printed in the LA Times last week caused an uproar in the adoption community. The newspaper received dozens of angry emails and as a result they wrote a follow-up article titled “Brangelina Article Sparks Outcry”. The majority of the article as made up of letters from upset members of the adoption triad. Here are some excerpts from these letters: •“This article is just pure ignorance and I honestly feel your paper should print an apology for being so demeaning, degrading of children and adoption. Please, we have enough to … Continue reading →

Adoption the “Brangelina” Way?

A recent article in the LA Times sparked outrage in the adoption community. The article was titled “How to Shop for Kids the Brangelina Way”. The article was written in a flippant manner that most adoptive parents found to be rude and disrespectful. Here are some of the offensive comments that were made in the article: •Referring to China as “an adoption machine” •Saying that Russia is “the next biggest supplier of adoptable moppets” •When talking about the fact that South Korea does not require the parents to travel to get their child, the writer said “(Angelina) could phone in … Continue reading →

Keeping a Home and Building Your Business

I’m a freelance writer (in case you can’t tell). It has always been sort of a fun pastime for me, but as of this month it has taken on a whole new meaning. You see, I just quit my “real job” in order to stay at home and prepare to welcome our adopted children who will hopefully be coming home in the next few months. I am thrilled to finally be realizing my goal of being a homemaker, but the reality is that we can’t live on my husband’s income and so I need to start writing! One of the … Continue reading →

Making Time for Your Business

I’ve been writing a lot of reviews for Families.com on different home business opportunities this month (to see these reviews, go to reviews.families.com). One of the claims that I see with almost every business is something to the effect of “Plan your own hours! Be your own boss! Work only a few hours a week!” The problem with this claim is that it doesn’t really apply when you are just getting started in a business. Once you get established, then yes you probably will work less hours than in a typical office job. However, when you are just getting started, … Continue reading →

Multi Level Marketing – Effective or Evil?

We’ve all been pounced on by people selling cosmetics or cleaning products. They want us to buy the products, but what they REALLY want you to do is to start a business – and convince others to start a business. Some of you may have even decided to try some of those businesses and may be feeling disoriented by them. You may have decided that these businesses don’t work and that they are simply scams. While I definitely think that there are some businesses out there that really aren’t in it to sell products, there are also some great Multi … Continue reading →

Declining A Referral

One of the hardest things in adoption is to say no to a child that needs a home. We want more than anything to open our hearts and our homes to every child who comes along. However, this is just not possible. There are times when the difficult decision must be made to say no to a referral. We have not had the experience of saying no to an official referral, but we were presented with the request to consider adopting a child who needed a home. Our homestudy agency remembered that we were open to special needs and so … Continue reading →