Author Archives: T.B. White

About T.B. White

lives in the New York City area with his wife and two daughters, 6 and 3. He is a college professor who has written essays about Media and the O.J. Simpson case, Woody Allen, and other areas of popular culture. He brings a unique perspective about parenting to families.com as the "fathers" blogger. Calling himself "Working Dad" is his way of turning a common phrase on its head. Most dads work, of course, but like many working moms, he finds himself constantly balancing his career and his family, oftentimes doing both on his couch.

Dad’s Recipe for a Great Saturday Morning

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In an earlier version of my bio , I mentioned that in addition to my comparatively unique perspective, I also had recipes to share. Although I have been blogging at this site for six months now (!), I’ve not posted a single recipe anywhere. Not in my blog, not in any forum; nothing. This post will change all that. I woke up this morning and managed a fine weekend repast for the family – well, we were in fact minus-one, since our oldest had a sleepover at her aunt’s house around the corner. And the truth is, the energy level … Continue reading →

Marriage, Fatherhood, and Testosterone

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“Inspired” by comments from a sports talk radio host, I began looking up some material on testosterone levels (I’ll get to the comments in a moment). I was wondering at what age do the levels begin to drop for men, and I found this interesting piece from the Harvard Gazette dated about four years ago: It’s a basic summary of a research study that was to be published in full later. The focus in the study was not about age, but about marriage. The study confirmed what would seem to be common sense, from an anthropological perspective: married men have … Continue reading →

Reflecting on Fathers (and Fathers-in-law)

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My father-in-law is still recovering from major surgery over a year ago, and he’s struggling. But the big struggle is probably his emotional health as much as any other issues. What has clearly shifted is that my mother-in-law, more than ever, has put him into the role of a child, helpless and incapable of functioning without her. There’s always been a certain element of that in their relationship — I need not go into details here – but these tendencies are more pronounced now that his body has begun to give out on him. Whatever my father-in-law was like as … Continue reading →

Brushing your Daughter’s Hair: The Wonderful Ritual?

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I saw this in many parenting books: how the time a mother spends combing her daughter’s hair is a special time, where ideas are shared and feelings expressed. It’s a beautiful gesture of the intimate bond between mother and daughter. It’s a highly recommended activity that can be shared. Well, those authors never met my oldest. The kid HATE HATE HATES to have her hair touched, let alone washed or combed. I’ve seen my wife struggle for almost five years now. It’s never a quiet warm intimate moment; it’s a battle for survival. Screams, winces, knots, vows (“I’ll never let … Continue reading →

Friday Family Night

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To follow up on my point about being home: because we had decided that we were going to be the primary caregivers of our children, with no reliance on a day care center and minimal reliance on family members, we had to manage our work schedules around each other. We tried very hard to make sure that one of us was with our oldest all the time, if not both of us. This did not always translate into having family dinners together. This past academic year was particularly rough, because I’d be out all day Monday, then out most of … Continue reading →

“it’s great to have you home so much… so I can tell you what to do!”

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I’m a college professor, and although I do teach classes in the summer, the schedule is such that I have some time off in between the end of the spring term and the beginning of the summer session. It often takes a little bit of adjustment for everyone to see Dad around more. My wife likes it when I’m home, and no, it’s not because I do stuff around the house like fix a leak or clean out a gutter. (My wife does that stuff, or we pay professionals.) She said, jokingly, “it’s great to have you home so much … Continue reading →

Night-time challenges

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We’re still using wheels to get our youngest to sleep, and we’re right now in that twilight zone of her age and the time of year. She’s almost three and like most toddlers still needs a nap. We do have something of a set pattern for it, since she does have nursery school twice a week, so that she gets a nap early, has lunch, then rushes over to school. Missing the nap means a very cranky girl for a few hours, and that missing nap does not necessarily translate into an early bedtime. She rarely takes her nap in … Continue reading →

Fear on the Playground

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Sounds like a good mock-kiddie film noir, right? I’m not talking about bullies. I’m just talking about the ways that children express and handle fear of trying certain playground activities. My oldest is at an age where she can carry fear intensely, when she has any. She is a pretty brave spirit, but what fears she has, she feels very deeply. She creates a scenario in her head, and it’s hard to get her to let it go. She has a very all-or-nothing personality. The good thing, I suppose, is that she has enough confidence to set limitations on things … Continue reading →

Just another day at Gymnastics!

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When my oldest was about two, she seemed to have an affinity for jumping on my couch. I thought that maybe a good way of getting her to channel that energy was to have a structured gymnastics class. This would help her develop some more disciplined coordination than bouncing on my furniture, and I also figured that a gymnastics class my save my couch from further pain (on this last point I was clearly wrong, especially after our second girl was born). In any case, we have enjoyed going to our gymnastics place for about four years now, and I’m … Continue reading →

A Date with Dad

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My oldest and I have taken many a date together, and they are always very special. We didn’t really start calling them dates until around the time our youngest was born, though obviously we spent quite a bit of time together when my wife was working (we did our best to coordinate our schedules so that one of us was “home”). We found it a way of making my time with her just a little extra fun, and that way maybe she’d not notice that her baby sister was getting one-on-one time with her mom. (Sharing is still not easy!) … Continue reading →