I have been thinking and writing about communication lately–particularly as it relates to parenting and interacting with our children. One of the problems with having discussions and communicating effectively in the family setting can be all the interruptions! This can make it tough to come to resolutions, pay full attention to the problems and issues at hand, and actually complete important discussions with our children. Here are some tips for making communication a priority and NOT giving in to all those potential interruptions:
While some interruptions can come from the environment or other people–such as the ringing telephone, a knock at the door, an emergency or other child’s need–some of us sabotage our own conversations by getting off topic. Changing subjects, bringing in issues that are from the past or irrelevant or letting our emotions take over can all keep us from being able to resolve a conflict and complete a discussion. It takes practice and developing good communication skills in order to keep from letting our own selves derail productive conversations within the family.
Family meetings can be a real challenge in terms of making sure that every person gets to have their fair say, but no one is able to take the conversation hostage and prevent productive resolution. It takes a strong, fair-minded mediator to keep conversations on task and avoid distractions–whether from within the family or externally. During family meetings or conversations with children, turn off or ignore the telephone, and do not permit other children or even a partner or spouse to interrupt and change the topic (an interruption that “helps” the conversation or discussion such as another idea or new information can be allowed). If a conversation seems to drift or get off topic, it takes skill and fortitude to bring it back ON topic and show that there is a priority for completing the discussion and reaching resolution.
Being able to complete discussions contributes to healthy family communication and relations. It demonstrates to our children that we value them and are committed to working things through and paying our full attention to the needs and problems they might have–no matter how chaotic family life can be at times!
See Also: Are You Sending Crystal Clear Messages to Your Kids and Effective Communication