It can be hard for parents to not put their own expectations on their child. It can be hard to listen to other parents talk about their baby’s milestones and not compare your own baby to them. But not only do you need to avoid doing that, it’s important for you and your child to not do that.
My daughter did not walk until she was 18 months old. She didn’t crawl either. In fact, she didn’t crawl until after she walked. I worked with her, I played with her, I helped her hold my hands and stand up, but she wasn’t interested. My nephew was walking at 9 months and so had my husband. But I asked my own mother about it and she said I was walking at 10 months, so I worried something was wrong with my daughter that she wasn’t walking.
But then I watched her and she didn’t have any difficulty getting around. In fact, she could move pretty quickly. Rather than walk or crawl, she butt-scooted everywhere. She started butt scooting at 7 or 8 months and by the age of 12 months, she could butt-scoot across a room faster than I could walk.
She would sit on the ground, Indian style and ‘bounce’ her way across the room. She could get some serious height tool. So while she didn’t walk or crawl, she could and did scoot at speed. One of the things I missed the most after she started walking was she didn’t scoot anywhere anymore.
She was a late talker, too. While she didn’t talk, she could babble with the best of them. Many experts feel that babies have their own language and in my daughter’s case, this was definitely true. She became exceptionally verbal by 4 months, but spoke no English. Her first ‘English’ words showed up between 12 and 14 months. She said “Da” for her father and then “Best Buy” for her favorite store.
She would say Best Buy with such enthusiasm that it cracked everyone up. But I know her reasons for loving Best Buy was because two or three times a week, I would load her in the car, we would go and wander Best Buy and then the Barnes and Noble that was right next door. Best Buy was synonymous with wanting to go “out.”
She called going out ‘Best Buy’ until she was nearly 2 and a half.
At the age of 5, my little baby is reading, she’s writing and she’s communicating in sophisticated terms. She’s comparable to a lot of kids her own age and to her cousin who’s 15 months older than her. Luckily, by avoiding the ‘me’ trap – I didn’t keep pressuring her to be what I thought she should be or do the things I thought she should. I let her do them at her pace and not only did she learn, but she gave me precious memories to share.
So avoid the ‘me’ trap and let your baby be your baby. By the time he or she is five – they’ll be where everyone else is anyway!