Babies aren’t lepers, yet they may as well be for how some people treat babies and mothers with their babies. Babies are loud, sticky and irate and they are not remotely shy about letting the world know their feelings. For most parents, we recognize that this is absolutely normal behavior for babies and small children.
So What is the Problem?
Unfortunately, not everyone is going to see your baby that way. In fact, in some restaurants you will not only get stared at, but some managers will even invite what they refer to as disruptive customers to leave if their babies cry or are too loud.
By the same token, many moviegoers resent the presence of babies and small children at films even when it’s a kid-friendly movie. Parents who take their babies into bookstores can get dirty looks and deep, very punctuated sighs about the baby making noise – whether they are pleasant noises or not and don’t get me started on the actions of people around you when you take your baby on a plane.
The Very Real Negativity
I remember being on a plane flying from Orlando to Dallas several years ago. There were three babies on the plane. For the first two hours of the trip, you couldn’t even hear them. Then one started to cry and it prompted the other two to join in. The parents cajoled and comforted them, but the last hour of the flight was far from quiet – and you know that’s what happens when there’s a baby around.
When my daughter was an infant, baby and toddler, we made regular trips to the bookstore. I don’t know how many times she would be laughing and squealing happily and I’d get dirty looks from other patrons. In fact, one time a woman walked right up to me and suggested that I leave because I was disrupting the quiet of the bookstore. Now, being the confrontational sort, I just looked her square in the eye and said:
I’m sorry my daughter’s laughter is bothering you, but this is a public, retail location – not a library or your private residence. It is also 10:30 in the morning and I hardly think laughter is a cause for rudeness. But I do thank you for your input, now please – allow me to finish looking at the new titles because you are disrupting my shopping. Have a nice day.
Her mouth opened and closed several times, but no sound came out. She stormed off. I heard her a few minutes later complaining loudly to a store manager who in turn invited her to leave as her strident tones were carrying through the bookstore. I couldn’t help it – I laughed and so did my midget. Another mother came around the corner, bouncing a baby on her hip and she gave me this grin and of course, I grinned back.
Babies Aren’t Grownups
It’s amazing to me in a world where parenting is encouraged and birth is promoted that there is an attitude out there that babies should be seen, but never heard. As a mother, I’m proud of my little one and no, trust me – when she is crying, I’m not going to comfort her for someone else’s comfort zone and I’m certainly not going to hush her laughter and peels of happy squeals when I am in a public place.
I have a suggestion for those who don’t like to hear children or babies – once upon a time, you were a baby too and while you may be an adult now, you are still far from perfect. While your negative attitude is far from pleasant for me you won’t see me walking up to every negative dark look or sighing individual and inviting them to relocate.
Have you had to deal with the negative attitude towards your baby?