It does not matter how wonderful your baby is or how much they smile or even how fun they are to be around. Sooner or later, you will see your little one be aggressive. Aggression is not necessarily about violence or even about hitting. Aggressive behavior is what happens when the baby decides they are going to take the lead and they are going to do it their way. They don’t need permission, they don’t ask for permission and they don’t ask for input.
It’s important to be a teacher in these situations. It’s important for you to let children learn their own mistakes. Sometimes, their peers deliver the best lessons and you have to let your child know what is or isn’t allowed. For example, they can be angry or want their way, but they cannot bully, brow beat or call names to get it.
When my daughter plays with her closest friend, I’ve seen her get mad because they wanted to play different games. They threaten each other, they posture and sometimes they even settle down to play at opposite ends of the room. That’s one way for them to handle it, but when they start beating on each other, you cannot allow that to continue. The name calling, the screaming and the general behavior associated with bullying are never acceptable.
It’s important to get involved when they are doing that. You have to get down on their level. If your baby isn’t talking yet, you need to absolutely redirect their attention to a more positive activity. You need to teach them to move away from what is frustrating them or annoying them or encouraging their aggressive behavior.
If they are being aggressive towards an animal, redirect that attention to being gentle. Show them how to stroke the cat or pet the dog. Move their hand lightly and gently. Make soft sounds, explaining it verbally and through your tone what you expect. It’s important to never leave the baby alone with animal because baby’s can inadvertently hurt animals and vice versa.
If the animal is in your lap and the baby wants to be there too, show them how to share the lap with the animal. They shouldn’t shove it away, show them how to pet and be gentle. The animal will likely move of its own volition, but you cannot let the baby shove it away in order to establish its will.
Demonstrate the gentleness and make it a rule, the baby will learn through that example and through your admiration. Use positive reinforcement and gentle conversation, because it doesn’t matter if they understand the words – they will understand your tone.