Some Koreans, and adoptive parents of Korean-born children, have expressed fear of a backlash since the Virginia Tech shootings by a Korean-born young man. Seung-Hui Cho was a South Korean citizen and a legal permanent resident of the US who came here at the age of eight.
I have not personally encountered racism as a multiracial family except on one occasion when another child said of (and in front of) my daughter, “She doesn’t look like an American.” I have worried that if tensions escalated with North Korea Koreans might be judged on their appearance the way some people of Middle-Eastern appearance have been since 9/11.
However one adoptive mother reports that a man at a bus stop turned to her ten-year-old Korean son and said, “You foreigners are what’s wrong with this country!” Hello, like ten-year-olds make their own choices about where to live? I had never dreamed that anyone, no matter how opposed to immigration, would take it out on a child. It’s a scary thought to me now.
I haven’t heard of anything that blatant happening after the Virginia Tech shootings. There have been more minor, though still disturbing, instances of teens throwing food at a Korean flag in an international display and “teasing” Asian young men with statements like “Are you still alive?” “Be nice to Kim or he’ll shoot you!”
It may seem like a small thing to some, but think about it. Imagine someone saying to you, “Watch out guys, she might go Timothy McVeigh on us!” We who have been in the majority truly do have an advantage in numbers—not being compared to someone simply because of our identity. (Perhaps the many dedicated employees of the US Postal Service feel this way when someone refers to “going postal”, which has come to mean enraged and out of control after the shootings by USPS employees years ago.) It does feel different now that I’m raising a multiracial family.
I sometimes think people look for bias where there is none. Nonetheless I do think media coverage, and perhaps some people’s thoughts as well, would have been different if the shooter had immigrated here from England at age eight. The media showed a Korean flag superimposed behind Cho’s photo, and people everywhere seem focused on whether Koreans expect too much of their children academically, whether Koreans are too stoic or too proud to get help, whether immigrant parents pay enough attention to their children. Please, people, even if many stereotypes have a grain of truth in them, that truth (if it exists) cannot possibly apply to all members of a group.
I hope everyone will also remember that Korean-Americans are probably sick of being asked for their reaction to the event, as if they would have a reaction other than the shock and horror and sadness we all feel. I especially hope that people like the man at the bus stop will remember that children are children. They have no control over these issues and should not be asked to discuss them.
Please see these related blogs:
Other Kids’ Reactions to My Adopted Kids’ Skin Color
Extended Family’s Attitudes about Skin Color