Wouldn’t it be interesting to be able to playback the things we say throughout the day? I think it would be pretty enlightening.
For whatever reason, there was this moment I experienced a couple of days ago when I really heard myself. And I didn’t like what I was hearing.
The realization hit me that I give a lot of instructions, particularly with my youngest child. “Put your shoes away.” “Feed the dogs.” “Turn down your television.” “Do your homework.”
It’s not that giving instructions is wrong. But is most of our communication spent barking orders?
I had to ask myself this. Do I spend more time giving my son instructions, than other forms of communication? My initial thought was, “I have to. Otherwise things wouldn’t get done.”
But then I thought about the circumstances surrounding that moment in which I realized how I sounded. He was looking at his Facebook account and said, “I hate when people tag me in pictures.”
What was my response? “Don’t forget to turn off the light.”
I completely disregarded what he said and did what I do too much…I gave instructions. It made me think, “No wonder he seems to get frustrated with me, if that’s all I do.”
Now it’s not that every time I open my mouth to him, it is to give instructions. But I know that I do it too much and I do it at the wrong time. This was clear in my example when my son was expressing a frustration to me and all I was concerned about was that he turns off the light.
Is it just me? Are there other moms who can relate to this? You might not think so until you take the time to really listen to yourself.
Or better yet…ask your child if you give too many instructions. But be ready for the answer.
As for me, I am going to be barking out a lot less orders!
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