Sometimes as parents, we have to barter with our kids in order to get what we want. This is especially true if we have young kids who demand a lot of our time and attention. Being a writer, I don’t work traditional hours. I am often waiting on callbacks that come after 3:00 when Tyler is home or on the weekend. Deadlines loom and if bills are to be paid, well, I have to meet them. What I have found useful is to trade off with Tyler. If I really need to get something done I will tell him that if he lets me work uninterrupted for 30 minutes, then he will get a reward. The reward is always time with me. That’s really all he wants. During his reward time, we will play a quick game, read a book or take a walk. If I have additional work that I need to do I make sure I let him know in advance that I need to get back to work after our together time is over. If I don’t need to work then there’s no time limit and we can do whatever he wants to do. Of course, parenting is not easy and what works today won’t work tomorrow but in most cases he abides by our agreement.
One thing I am finding out is that yes, young kids demand a lot of your time but in most cases you can break the time down into smaller chunks of time. In doing so you can sneak time in. I also take advantage of times when Tyler is playing with his cousins or playing outside alone. I use this time to check email, edit, and look through a magazine or whatever. The main point to remember is that you should be prepared to be interrupted. I set a timer to let Tyler know when the designated time is up but that does not stop him from sometimes asking, “is it time yet?” Bartering for time is not the perfect solution to getting things done when you have young kids at home but it is one solution that has worked for me the majority of the time.
See also:
Positive Reinforcement: Non-material Rewards Are Just As Effective
The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids