One of the things we need to be careful about is in-laws, not just when we are with them but in the comments we make about them.
We all know the jokes about mother-in–laws. There’s often some basis for it, in that mothers in particular seem to have trouble letting go of family and sharing them with the new spouse. I know some of you in the forums have experienced these problems.
You might find that your spouse’s mother for example is too demanding of their time. You might find them overbearing or protective or you fill in……whatever the particular trait is that you find annoying. But, and there’s a big but, be very wary about making too many negative comments about your in-law to your spouse. They are, after all, your spouse’s parents. He or she has had a lifetime with them, whereas you’ve come into the family later.
You might think, it doesn’t matter because they don’t get along that well. They make negative comments themselves about their parents. That may be true. But how often have you heard someone make negative comments about a family member and then jump to their defense in an instant if someone else makes negative comments?
The truth is we are protective of those we love and even though they may annoy us at times, it’s different when someone else makes the negative comments, even when that person is our spouse. Try to think how you would feel if it was you hearing those comments.
So talk with your spouse if in-laws are a problem about what you can do but don’t come out with a string of negatives and criticisms about your spouse’s parents or other family members. Because the likelihood is they will spring to their defense if you do.
Try to find positives about the in-laws that you can focus on instead of what you perceive as the negatives. Work at trying to find some common interests with them that you can talk about and share together.
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