The first commandment given to the Human Race was stated in Genesis, when Adam and Chava were told to “be fruitful and multiply.” This involves more than just conceiving and giving birth to offspring: raising and educating children is included in this commandment. Judaism places special emphasis on the birth and education of children. There are many rituals associated with birth and early childhood, culminating in a bar or bat mitzvah, when a child reaches an age where he or she can take responsibility for his or her behavior.
The Torah says that this commandment of “be fruitful and multiply” is fulfilled when one has at least one boy and one girl. This is one of the few commandments, however, that is really in G-d’s hands and does not depend on our free will. For instance, the great Torah sage, Rashi, had two daughters and no sons. Although he was not able to fulfill this commandment, his daughters married great scholars, and their children formed one of the greatest Torah “dynasties” of all time. It is believed that those who are unable to have children or do not have one boy or one girl fulfilled this commandment in a previous life and are exempt in their current life.
Orthodox Jews are often characterized as having large families, and this is generally the case. Although many rabbis sanction some form of “family planning,” Charedi (or ultra-Orthodox) rabbis allow birth control only in extreme cases, and it is not unusual to see families with more than ten children in these communities. A good friend of mine who lives in a Chassidic neighborhood in Brooklyn, constantly refers to her family as “my small family”; she has four children !(bli ayin hara—or may they be protected from the evil eye.)
Many people wonder how these families can cope with so many children, but as one wise chassidic child from a large family put it “It’s easier for Mommy with 6 children than it was with 3, because we all help her.” There really is a small “community” feeling in some of these homes, and the children are there to support each other, to babysit, help with homework, do the dishes, etc..A large family has a built-in support system, and there is always a listening ear (when there aren’t a multitude of voices talking at the same time.) Having spent a good deal of time with families such as these, I can see that they are healthy and truly blessed.