When I think of distractions in the world of the single parent, I think of things that we do or choices we make (or our children make) to keep from focusing on what we really need to focus on. Similar to denial, as humans we have a great ability to create distractions for ourselves whenever we are faced with something unknown, unpleasant, or just plain hard. As single parents, and for single parent families, we may have gone through such tough times or be in the midst of a crisis and in an attempt to find relief, we get caught up in distractions. Unfortunately, depending on the distractions that present themselves, it can either create some big issues in our lives (addictions, economic insecurity, personal problems) or it can keep us from moving ahead and getting to a better place in our lives.
I mentioned our children earlier because children are very good at creating distractions–have you ever been in an argument with someone or on the telephone and had your child create a big enough commotion that you had to focus on him instead of the other? Often in dysfunctional families, children learn early on how to create distractions and shift attention to manipulate an unpleasant situation.
We do it to ourselves too–maybe we procrastinate or get involved in drinking, partying, gambling, compulsive dating, whatever–to keep from having to face facts and get on with things such as rebuilding our families. I think single parents are especially susceptible to distractions because it is quite easy for our lives to get out of balance, or for us to just get so exhausted we crave any sort of distraction we can find! Try instead to seek support and stay healthy, the healthier we are the less likely we are to be tempted by compulsive behaviors. If you feel you are having a hard time NOT getting distracted or creating diversions for yourself and your family, you might seek professional help, counseling, or therapy to help you work through the big stuff and get into a healthier place.
Also: How Realistic Are Your Expectations?
Making Tough Decisions and Choices on Your Own