Most midlife moms arrive at motherhood by choice- either getting pregnant the natural way or with the aid of fertility treatments. Still others choose the adoption route. Many mid-life moms, like myself, are first-timers, however many more have children in their teens and beyond and some have grandchildren, in some cases older than their own child. Among this sub-group we find mid-life moms who are not only raising their own young offspring but find themselves raising their young grandkids as well. Most do so without taking any kind of legal actions, however an ever-growing number are taking the necessary steps to legally adopt their grandchildren, effectively becoming the parent. Others may find it best to simply become the legal guardian.
First, let me say that if you are a grandparent raising one or more of your grandkids you are not alone. Grandparents have historically played a significant role in the upbringing of their grandkids and over the past decade the number of grandparents raising their grandkids with little or no parental involvement has risen steadily. In 2000 alone there were close to 2.5 million such households, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Sometimes grandparents raise their grandchildren when a parent dies or is serving in the military. Sadly, more often than not the reason relates to drug and or alcohol abuse, physical abuse, mental illness or incarceration. In other instances, the parent simply may not be capable of caring for their offspring and the grandparents step in. Sometimes an unplanned teenage pregnancy is the culprit. Whatever the reason you find yourself in this situation, there are many issues you need to be aware of from a legal standpoint.
One big concern is the issue of legal custody of your grandchildren. In many cases you may have become the caregiver on an informal basis. As time passes many grandparents feel it may be in the best interest of the child to make the arrangement legal. One major reason for doing so is because the grandparents fear the parent will come back and uproot the child from a stable environment as they see fit. This is especially the case when the parent abuses drugs or alcohol. There are also issues pertaining to the grandparent being able to make medical decisions concerning the child.
In part II, I will discuss the different types of guardianship.