One of the hardest things as a single parent is not having any control over your child when they are at their other parent’s house. If they choose to feed them ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner there’s not much you can do about it. Just chuck them full of vegetables when they get home and hope for the best. You’re used to being the bad cop, right?
Bedtime was always our fight. When Logan was really little and we were still married, my ex worked late. He often wouldn’t even get home until 10 or 11 o’clock at night. I would keep Logan up so that he had a chance to see him before bed. It was what worked for us at the time and he was young enough that he didn’t need to be up early for school or anything so I didn’t stress about it too much. When we got divorced and I went back to school that first semester I took night classes so that I had someone to watch Logan while I was gone. He stayed up until I got home so that he got a chance to see me before bed and we could share our nightly bedtime routine together. As time went on and naps became less and less frequent it became apparent to me that Logan was needing to get on a better schedule. My classes were now during the day and he was in daycare so it made sense to work on getting him back on a normal schedule. Unfortunately, this didn’t fly at Daddy’s house because “it cut into his Daddy time.” I’ve tried to be understanding of this and have been flexible about giving him extra time when it is available, but it is still a struggle for us. I’ve come to accept that it just isn’t going to happen, no matter how much I want it to. Sometimes, I think that is the hardest part about being a single parent; learning to accept the things that you have no control over.
My son may go to bed at midnight every other weekend. He may even have candy for breakfast. But at least he has two parents who love him, even if they do it a little differently.