While sometimes our children surprise us with off-the-wall behaviors, their behavior is often part of a pattern. By looking for and figuring out what sort of behavior patterns might be going on, it can be helpful in our being able to solve problems and address problem behaviors.
I have found that looking for patterns as a parent can help me in several ways—first, it helps me to determine whether something is becoming a problem or not. An isolated temper tantrum or some other unsavory behavior might be due to one of my children being overly-tired, temporarily stressed or coming down with some sort of illness. A behavior that starts to happen more regularly or seems to be developing into a pattern obviously has a more lasting cause. Secondly, uncovering behavior patterns can help me to see how things are inter-related. Consider when a child develops a food allergy, doctors recommend that you remove possible offending foods and then systematically add them back in one at a time. You are looking for any patterns or predictable responses. The same can be true of behavior. If a child seems to be getting agitated at the same time every day, or starts having predictable behaviors during certain activities—those patterns can help you to determine cause and effect.
Looking for causes, predictable patterns, and even how certain behaviors seem to be woven into others (or affected by particular individuals) may sound like complicated social science, but it isn’t—it is just a logical way that a parent can approach behavior problems and try to determine what needs attention and what is likely a brief, passing outburst or temporary problem. When we identify patterns, we can also come up with a consistent, persistent way to address whatever behavior issues seem to be going down.
Also: Gearing Up for Transitions