Recently I wrote about 87 year old volunteer, Cyril Brown. Don’t you wonder what this guy would be like in a marriage? Would he be so involved with others that he doesn’t have time or make time for his spouse? Or would he be the kind of guy who helps out at home and is looking for ways to serve his wife? It made me wonder. We’ve heard the adage about ‘behind every good man there’s a good woman.’ Is it true in this case?
Maybe Cyril hasn’t got a wife. That’s why he spends so much time helping others. I wish I knew. Mick would say that’s because I’m a sticky beak. He’s right. But that’s not a bad quality for a writer anyway.
The truth is he’s been around me so long he’s taken to doing it too. That’s often what happens when you’ve been married a long time. You can start to take on qualities and habits of the other person without realizing it.
At times we’ve been out and been speculating about the people around us. It certainly means we always have something to talk and laugh about as we make up stories. Maybe, we just like playing games of make believe together.
One time we’d built up a whole story about a man and woman on the bus. She was crying. He was holding himself in check at what looked like great cost. By the time we got off the bus, we’d decided their child was seriously ill and they’d just come from the hospital. Maybe it’s because we knew that situation so well, having been there years ago. I guess our own experiences throughout a marriage tend to color the way we look at others and what they are going through.
When a friend was going through the death of his wife I couldn’t help thinking how I’d feel if it was my husband who died. It would feel like part of me had died too. I know one day one of us is going to have to face that. I’d kind of like to think we’d be like the couple I wrote about who died with a short time of each other – together in life and in death. But then that’s hard on the family left behind.
For, now though, I’m not going to worry about it. After all worrying about it, is not going to change anything. Better to enjoy each day we have together.
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