‘The trouble with you is you’re so bloody independent, you don’t even know how to be a couple.’ That was the accusation flung at a character in a book recently. Unfortunately that attitude is not confined to fiction. It exists in real life. We see it every day – people who are so intent on retaining their individuality and independence that they don’t know how to maintain a relationship, because they never really see themselves as part of a couple. They are still just two individuals.
I’m not saying when we get engaged or married we should be joined at the hip and have no interests or activities apart from our spouse, but what I mean is each of us needs to remember w are part of a couple and not try and manage our time and our activities alone.
Being part of a couple and in a committed relationship means you don’t have to shoulder your worries and burdens alone. There is someone else who cares about you and wants to help. Even if they can’t help in any practical way, sometimes just the sharing of the problem and knowing someone cares can be enough to help alleviate it a little and make you feel better.
When life is busy and you see to have no time, make sure the thing you’re not cutting out is time with your loved one. It’s in those busy, hassled times that we need the support of those we love even more.
When it comes to planning your outings and activities do you consider your loved one? Do you consider that they might like to do? Or are you so focused on your plans you never give their preferences, ideas and needs more than a moment’s thought?
Independence is fine up to a point, but don’t be so independent you forget to be part of a couple. Being married means there is someone else to consider and to care for. For some people that takes a bit of adjustment.
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