One of the things that I strive really hard for in parenting is to be balanced. I don’t claim to be perfect. In fact, I am far from it. However, I do make every effort I can to make sure things are fair and balanced.
I think this has more to do with my own childhood. In some areas my parents weren’t very strict, like with my grades at school but then in other areas, they were over the top strict. An example would be telling me what I could go to college for. When I announced the field I wanted to work in, I was forbidden. This is what I mean by over the top.
I know someone who puts so much pressure on their teenagers to get straight A’s that they get punished if they don’t get them. I think that is very unbalanced. Now I am sure there will be someone out there who will disagree with what I am going to say but here it goes anyway. I have always told my children that I want them to do their best and if their best is a C, then that’s what it is.
Why a C, you might be wondering? Why not a B? A C is average. There are just some things that we are average at. Sure, there are some people who seem to excel at everything they do. However the majority of us are typical people who are better at some things than others. As long as I know my children are trying, I am fine with a C.
Of course if I know they can do better than a C, then I will encourage them to get a higher grade. Notice I did not say that I will push them to get a B. I think the best motivator is encouragement.
I have also told my children that a D or lower is completely unacceptable. Last year when my oldest son was a freshman in high school, he started off the year really well. Then he hit this slump that just went downhill. By the time his 9th grade year ended, he had a D in one particular subject. His thought was, “Whew, I passed.” My thought was, “Not good enough.”
I knew the reason he had received a D was because he chose to not turn in work. I was not going to accept that. I knew if I didn’t do something about it now; it would be a continuing pattern. So to his surprise and horror, I signed him up for summer school.
Let me tell you, he was not a happy camper. He was so mad at me and in the beginning really didn’t see the point. All he could see was that he had passed. But I explained to him that he didn’t put forth his best effort and sliding by is not going to sit well with me.
Throughout those several weeks of going to summer school, I believe he learned some lessons. It was a real bummer to not be able to sleep in and to have to spend time in summer school. On his last day of summer school he said, “This will not happen next year” and guess what? It hasn’t.
This is just something to think about as the school year ends. Are your expectations for your teen’s grades balanced? Are you motivating your teenager with encouragement? These are just some things we can dwell on over the summer and think about when school starts back up again in September.
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