It seems to be much more natural for me to focus on what I’m NOT getting from the people and support systems around me. Since I’ve been at this single-parent thing for quite some time, it’s easy for me to feel like I really am doing everything all by myself. Of course, that’s not even close to true. I’ve found that it takes extra effort, but by focusing on how grateful I feel for the help and support I do get, I feel less burdened and am able to experience more joy and pleasure with my parenting.
There are all sorts of ways to “count one’s blessings” and try to appreciate what is being done on our behalf. It doesn’t have to be big things like being gifted a new car or a college scholarship for our child. Even focusing and acknowledging all the little things that get done for us on a daily basis can help to lift our mood and change the way we’re feeling about our situation. Little things like the neighbor offering to walk our dog when he walks his own, or a teacher who takes the time to call and let us know that our child is having a particularly tough time in school. Sometimes, we take things for granted and overlook all the little things that happen on a daily or regular basis that actually make our lives as single parents a little less hectic and a lot more pleasant.
The carpool to soccer practice, or a boss who is understanding of our single parent status, getting an extra week to pay the newspaper carrier or even the two-for-one coupon for milk—all of these can just seem like ordinary happenings until we take the time out to foster appreciation and feel some gratitude. Then, we start to see more of the gifts that life and the people in our life have to offer and we can experience a shift in mood. It’s hard to feel crabby or exhausted when we’re experiencing all that gratitude!
See Also: Stop Competing With Other Parents and The Do’s and Don’ts of Single Parenting