One of the realities of my single parent family is that I think I am closer and have a more “give and take” relationship with my kids than I did before I was a single parent. Perhaps some of it is just because my kids are all older and we’ve been through a lot, but I also think it is due to the fact that we are “in this together.” As single parents, it can be both a positive and challenging reality, but we can benefit from letting ourselves be influenced by our children.
While I am definitely still the ultimate “boss” and responsible adult in our family, we do discuss things like where to put the furniture, what to have for dinner, and what sort of television programs to watch. I imagine that I have been more inclined to talk to my kids as equals and give them more of a say in how the household operates because it has been the three of them and me for so long. When I really think about it, I realize that some of their sayings pepper my speech, that I have made choices for the house or how we do things based on their preferences and input, and they definitely have a say about the grocery list or meal preparation. My older girls even try to influence my “style” by telling me how to dress and fix my hair now (I have mixed feelings about that but I admit I’ve taken some of their advice—no more pegged, stone-washed “mom jeans”).
As much as I have influenced, shaped and raised them—I realize that they are influencing me too. As a single parent, I think we can feel alright with this reality and it can be a blessing. The trick is to keep strong boundaries and remember that we are the adult and that we are in charge. Letting ourselves be influenced is one thing, being bulldozed by the children is another!
Also: Home-making as a Single Parent
The PARENTING Blog