As a parent, every day I’m amazed to see the young woman my daughter is turning into. I think that is true for all parents, we look at our children and there is so much joy that we get to be a part of something so wonderful. As a single parent there is a little sadness mixed with that joy, sadness that our kids don’t get to grow up in an intact family, that Daddy doesn’t help tuck them in every night. But always there is joy and pride in watching them grow and seeing the men and women they are becoming.
So much is said about how detrimental it is to children to come from “broken homes.” All the statistics that tell you what you already know, it’s hard to be a kid, especially one of divorce. I believe there are benefits as well, I’ve talked about them before, and our kids can be stronger, more responsible and independent than they would otherwise.
What about us? All of us single mothers. We all know the challenges of raising children alone, financial, emotional, not to mention the sleep deprivation. Are there benefits to being a single mother? I think there are.
I know that I am stronger than I would have been otherwise. I have had to slay dragons for my daughter that, if I were married, I would have stepped aside and let her father take care of. I’ve found my voice; I can stand my ground and stand up for us when we are not being treated fairly. I am the spider killer, nightmare chaser, the one who checks out the noise in the basement. That is a benefit for my daughter as well, she has a strong woman as a role model.
I’m more resourceful than I would have been had I remained married. If the roof is leaking and you don’t have the money to pay someone to fix it, you have to figure it out. There is so much I wouldn’t know how to do if I were still married, things that are “men’s work”, but I can do them just as well.
I am grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to discover these things about myself, even if it was because of a divorce. And I hope that from my example, my daughter will never feel like she can’t take care of herself. That’s really the greatest gift we can give your children, teaching them to be self sufficient, all the while hoping they find someone who will make them happy forever.