One of the inevitable realities of a single parent household is that life gets lived beyond gender stereotypes. A single parent does it all—regardless of what is considered a “traditional” job assigned to a “traditional” gender role. We cook and clean and whip out our tool boxes to fix bicycles and make home repairs. Our children do get to grow up in a world that goes beyond gender stereotypes.
I really do think this is a good thing. My kids have done the bulk of their growing up in circumstances that have taught them that, at least at mom’s house, gender is almost irrelevant when it comes to household chores and daily tasks. They don’t hesitate to ask me to fix things and the fact that I have been both the only wage earner for our house, and chief cook and bottle washer has set a precedent of expectations that kids in traditional two-parent homes don’t get. That is not to say that there haven’t been days when I would be happy to hand off some of my responsibilities, but I am aware that I am setting an example for my kids (and their friends) that goes beyond gender.
I think single parent households are much less likely to have rigid stereotypes anyway. While my son is the only male in our household, he definitely doesn’t feel like he is the “man of the house”—as a matter of fact, he was just joking about that the other day saying that he doesn’t have to be the man of the house, because mom handles it just fine. Additionally, my daughters have grown up seeing all sides of things—they see how it is at their dad’s house where his new partner takes care of many of the traditional “female” jobs that he used to when he was a single parent, and they see how things are for me. They will be able to make their own choices based on a far more expanded canvass based on their experiences growing up in a single parent home and with a taste of the more “traditional” too.
I have to admit that I’m pretty proud of the way we have been able to wrestle with, and knock down some traditional gender stereotypes in our little family—and it is mostly due to the realities of being a single parent home.
Also: Mothers Raising Boys
When Was the Last Time I Ate a Meal I Didn’t Cook?