Another controversial subject in Jewish life is that of birth control. As with many aspects of Jewish observance, there is no one opinion that covers the entire spectrum, although the traditional view is based on the verse in Bereshis (Genesis) “Be fruitful and multiply” which was the first commandment given to humankind. The view that a couple should have many children is common among religious Jews, but there is a marked difference of opinion concerning how and if one should limit the number of children in a family.
Men are required to fulfill the obligation of “be fruitful and multiply.” It is interesting to note that this mitzvah is directed toward men and not women, but one rabbi explained that the reason for this is that women naturally desire children, whereas men have to be commanded to reproduce (not that there is no such thing as a “paternal instinct” but men are more likely to want to avoid having children than women). A couple has fulfilled the commandment “Be fruitful and multiply” when they have had at least one boy and one girl. However, traditional Jews feel that they should have children beyond the minimum number, and birth control may or may not be used depending the movement of Judaism with which one is allied. After a certain number of children are born in a family, some rabbis permit a woman to use a barrier method of contraception (condoms are never permitted for men, since it involves wasting “seed” against which there is a very serious prohibition in the Torah). This is often regarded as temporary, or may be more long-term.
Most haredi (very Orthodox) Jews do not use birth control at all, or only in serious circumstances (i.e. if a woman is experiencing extreme emotional stress) and only with a rabbi’s permission. Therefore, it is not unusual to see haredi families with ten or more children. In addition to observing the mitzvah of “Be fruitful and multiply,” many of these haredi families feel that they are doing their part to compensate for Jews who were lost during the Holocaust, or believe that the Messiah will come when a certain number of souls enter the world. However, even the strictest sects may allow some form of temporary birth control if a woman is feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances, and rabbis are often quite sympathetic concerning this issue.