Several years ago I read a book about birth orders. Since I have three children I was able to easily pick up on the characteristics that perfectly fit my youngest, middle and oldest child. It was amazing how many similarities I saw between what was described in the book and what I see in my children.
One of the things I remember reading about firstborns is that they tend to do better in adult company than children of other birth orders. While my oldest son is still a teenager who enjoys hanging out with friends, he is definitely able to hang with the older crowd. In fact, he can contribute quite intelligently to some of our conversations.
The problem with the firstborn is that sometimes they are ignored because the youngest one tends to get more attention. Whether you want to admit it or not, it’s just how it goes. So one of the things I started doing a long time ago was to establish one-on-one time with him. This puts the focus back on him.
With middle children, they are the ones most likely to feel ignored. The oldest child is kind of like your guinea pig who gets to be the first to do things. The youngest, as I already mentioned, tends to get the most attention. So it’s easy for the middle child to feel left out.
This is another reason for having one-on-one time. While one-on-one time is important with all of your children, with the middle child they need to be assured of your love and attention. It’s also important that you take the time to really listen to your middle child without interrupting.
The youngest child likely already has enough attention so that isn’t typically something that needs work. However they do tend to get away with more. So it’s important that the rules you lay out for the other children are the same ones your youngest child has to stick to.
These are just some of the ways that birth order makes a difference. I suggest you do some reading up on personalities and how the family works according to birth order. I think you will learn a few things.
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