Recently, a not-so-new parent asked me what I thought was reasonable birthday party etiquette, as in who all should go along with a young child who was invited to a party? This parent thought it should be okay for the entire family to go along with the invited 5 year-old (both parents and any siblings) but I shared that I thought etiquette demanded something different.
I think that unless the entire family (or even a younger or older sibling) is specifically invited, it should just be one parent and the child. Anyone who has planned a party for the younger set knows how much goes into making sure you have enough goodie bags, treats, cake and adult supervisors to keep the party on track. Accommodating a more diverse age range or being in a position where you either have to make adjustments or say “no” to an uninvited guest puts the host and/or hostess in an extremely awkward position.
While I admit that most of the hosting parents I have known have prepared for emergencies and had a few extras on hand, what would happen if even three whole families showed up at a child’s birthday party? It would change the demographic considerably!
I know that it might be inconvenient for the invited child’s parent (trust me, as a single parent, it always took some planning when my young children were invited to a birthday party) or family, and the younger or older siblings might get envious and really want to go along–but I think it is neither fair or considerate to the hosting family, the birthday celebrant, nor to your own child who should be able to enjoy his or her peers and the party as his or her own. One parent per invited guest unless families or others are specifically invited (and this does NOT include your asking if you can bring along extras–what polite person is going to say “no”?)
Also: Teaching Children How to be Good Hosts
Party Tips–When YOU Are the Guest