I could talk and lecture until I was blue in the face. Maybe it is because I am chatty, or because I think I have a lot of important stuff to say to my children. Mostly, I think it is a panic that they will head out into the world and I will have been negligent in passing on great waves of wisdom or telling them necessary things. Somehow, I worry that it will come back to haunt me if I don’t say all the things I should as a parent. I don’t know about you—but it is SO hard for me to bite my tongue and let nature or experiences take its course.
I have always admired those patient parents who just seemed to know when to keep their mouths closed and refrain from offering unsolicited advice or comments. I am NOT one of those sorts of parents by nature. As my children get older, it takes a great deal of energy and focus for me to try to catch myself before I say too much, say the wrong thing, make things worse, or just generally speak when I should probably keep silent. It’s tough!
I’ve written before about how important I think it is to pick one’s battles—regardless of the age of your child. Even though I might not make a big fuss about things, it is still a challenge for me to keep my mouth shut and not say ANYTHING. I often catch myself letting little things slip out. And, as you may know, with teenagers even those “little things” can blow up into huge dramas and I find myself really wishing that I had bit my tongue and not said anything at all.
So, there needs to be a mantra for parents. Do you know how we tell our children that “if they can’t say something nice, they shouldn’t say anything at all”? Well, I’m thinking that I need some sort of tongue-biting mantra that forces me to ask myself if my speaking up is going to actually make things better…or worse?
See Also: Parents Say the Darndest Things
Offering Guidance to Our Kids–Not Criticism