It’s tough being a single parent as anyone with any experience will tell you, but do you find yourself using the fact that you are a single parent to avoid doing other things?
I know I am guilty of that. Take exercise for example. When I first got divorced I didn’t want to leave Hailey home alone while I went to the gym, it was bad enough that she was home alone after school every day. So I didn’t exercise.
When she got a little older I told myself that I needed to be home because teenagers need to know that someone is always there. Yes, I could have worked out at home but that would have taken time that I could have been spending with Hailey. After all, there were already so many things I had to do in the evening I didn’t need anything else that would take my time and attention away from my daughter.
I also didn’t take vacations. I am the queen of hoarding vacation days. I was always afraid that if I took a vacation and Hailey got sick and I needed to stay home with her I would have to do so without pay, so I didn’t take any time off. My company finally said, use it or lose it. So I took some time off.
I know this is the wrong attitude. Life is meant to be lived, not just gotten through. Things are going to happen, kids are going to get sick, the electric bill is going to be paid late but you still have to make time for yourself.
When I do things for myself I’m a better parent. I have more patience, more energy and I find more joy in the time I do spend with my daughter. Plus I’m sure she appreciates a little space from me sometimes.