I’ve been doing a fair amount of cleaning this week. It isn’t often that I get a whole week off from school, so I thought I’d take advantage. During my cleaning escapade I came across our old video camera. It hadn’t been touched in almost a year. Amazing how quickly things seem to disappear when you’re running in a million different directions all day, every day. It makes me sad to think of how many precious moments we’ve missed as our camera has been buried this past year.
As I turned on the camera I was reminded of how things once were. I watched as our little Logan pointed to his eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and little bitty toes. I watched as my baby turned two. I watched as he sang songs and danced around. I watched our trip to Disneyland. Memory after memory came flooding back as I watched little snippets floating by on the camera. Was he really that small? Were we really that happy? For a moment, I remembered what it was like to be a “normal” little family. Hard to believe it was ever that way. From the outside looking in we looked like such a happy little family. No one would know that our marriage was suffering, that our family would be torn apart months later.
Looking back was hard. While I loved seeing my sweet little boy grow up on the camera screen, I couldn’t bare the thought of how much things had changed. Logan will never remember the time when his parents were together, when we were a family. I am thankful that we have these little moments to show him, even though they may be hard for me to watch. If nothing else, I hope that it will remind him just how much his parents loved him from the very start.