It’s so very hard to be a single parent but I think that blending families has to be the biggest challenge. Second marriages fail at a rate higher than first marriages and I believe that is due to trying to blend families.
You have your children and your hopes, dreams and insecurities about what it will mean for them to have a step father. You also have an ex husband who may or may not be involved in his children’s lives, if he is involved there may also be a stepmother to think about.
Then your new husband has his children, whether they live with you or not, his ex wife and possible a stepfather for his children in all of this.
So for every holiday, discipline problem, school issue, not to mention curfews and bedtimes and how much sugar your child ingests, you suddenly have six adults voicing their opinions.
Maybe your new husbands children have never had a bedtime because they only see Dad every other weekend while you are a strict bedtime enforcer. Or maybe it’s the other way around and you are very laid back and your new husband runs your home like boot camp.
Is it any wonder so many second marriages fail? Sometimes just coordinating a holiday schedule can be a nightmare. Maybe it’s the year you are supposed to have your children and visit your mother out of state but his children will need to be picked up in the afternoon. But your ex husbands new wife has just had a baby and she would like all the children to be together at her mother’s house in the afternoon, and your new husbands ex wife is spending the holiday with her new husbands family so she won’t be able to bring the kids over until dinner time.
Sounds easier to stay single until the kids are grown doesn’t it?
Keep your sense of humor. Absolutely nothing will help like being able to laugh at yourself and the situation. Don’t insist on perfection, the kids will remember the feel of the time and if everyone is stressed because no one can agree, the kids will remember that.