As a parent, even when I was married, I struggled with how to discipline Hailey. I wanted to make sure that we used these times as teachable moments, not just punishment. For the most part, I think we succeeded when her father and I were parenting her together.
When you are married discipline seems a little easier, there is another person there to look at the situation and offer input. When you are single, disciplining your child becomes harder but even more important.
Sometimes I was afraid of overreacting. Usually my days were long and my patience short and many times the punishment did not fit the crime. In those situations I would usually apologize to Hailey later and let her know that my reaction came from my bad day and not her behavior.
After a while I started to be too lenient, afraid of overreacting and destroying the relationship I had with my daughter. That was a recipe for disaster.
Children want boundaries and after a divorce they are going to push against those boundaries as hard as they can. You have to let them know that even though their family structure has changed your expectations for their behavior have not and that there are consequences to their actions.
It’s important to consistently reinforce the behavior that you want and discourage behavior that is destructive or can lead to other issues down the road.
If you do not teach your child right from wrong they will grow up thinking that they can behave any way they want. This can cause many problems in adulthood.
In order for our children to grow up to be well rounded, contributing members of society we have to teach them so that when they are making their own decisions they have a strong foundation to draw from.
Discipline doesn’t have to be a negative thing, you can use their mistakes as opportunities to learn and gain empathy for others. Just don’t make it so fun they actually look forward to getting in trouble!