Middle school can be just brutal. And the funny thing is I always thought it was worse for girls. But my daughter is about to officially end her middle school years in just a couple of weeks. Although it hasn’t been problem-free, it has certainly been much better for her than it has been for my boys.
I tend to think it is the fact she stayed in a K-8 school, while my boys went to middle schools. I could be wrong but all I know is that I will be glad when the next two years are over with.
I remember middle school for my oldest was difficult. Only recently did I learn just how hard it was, as he shared things I never knew about. I guess I’m kind of glad that he spared me some of the details. My heart would have been broken and the mama bear in me might have come out…and well, it wouldn’t have been very pretty.
This first year of middle school for my youngest seems to be very similar to what my oldest son went through. First of all, kids in middle school can be just plain mean. They can be downright cruel and it’s as if they don’t have a compassionate bone in their body. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all kids in middle school are this way but enough of them are to cause some amount of damage.
In middle school you also tend to get lost in the crowd. When my son attended his elementary school he was one of the “top dogs,” well liked by everyone and adored by girls. Now it’s almost like a competition and suddenly you are knocked down a few levels (which isn’t always so bad, mind you).
The discovery of “relationships” and testing of friendships are also part of middle school. It can be very difficult to navigate through as you feel pulled to be like the others, yet you are well aware of the morals and values you have been raised with.
Then there are the humiliating moments. I have known about a few that my oldest son went through and as I mentioned, recently he has been sharing additional stories with me. This week my youngest son went through a humiliating experience. I won’t share the details but I can tell you it happened in front of a bunch of other kids. It was quite devastating to him and it wasn’t until he was with me alone that he let the tears flow.
My first thought was to go to the kid who had done the act and give him a good talking to. But I knew I was too fired up and it would only make things worse. So I just happened to see the boy’s mom and very calmly explained what happened. She said she would deal with it and he did end up apologizing to my son. But quite honestly, he is no where near ready to accept it.
I wish I could take away these experiences but the reality is they are part of middle school. Yes, middle school can be very brutal. As a parent, all I can do is try to be there to help pick up the pieces.
How do you handle the difficulties your teens go through in middle school?
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