Teenagers are under a lot of stress. I’m more than a decade out of my teens and can still remember worrying about grades, going off to college, choosing a major, keeping in touch with my friends, leaving home, and a hundred other things.
Kids and adults share a lot of the same sources of stress — moving, the death of a family member, family financial problems, dealing with peers. But teens also have some unique sources of stress, including:
- Changes in their bodies
- The transition between childhood and adulthood
- Overloading on extra-curricular activities
- Figuring out what comes after high school
As a parent, older family member, or friend, what can you do to help a stressed-out teen?
Take it seriously. Even if the source of stress doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, it IS a big deal to them. When I was in college, I had a stress-related heart issue. The more stressed I got, the harder my heart would pound. It was scary, and only made worse when I felt like my family and doctors weren’t taking it seriously. Let your teen know that you believe them when they say they’re stressed — and that you want to help.
Watch and listen. Your teen might not come out and say that they’re stressed, so it will help if you know the signs. Watch out for anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, or even physical illness as a result of stress. Without an outlet, your teen may turn to inappropriate coping mechanisms. If you see signs of stress, open up those lines of communication. Ask how school or work or activities are going. Ask them if they feel stressed about anything.
Help your teen find an outlet for stress relief. For a lot of people, physical exercise is a great way to blow off some steam. Your teen may like to relax with a good book, listen to music, play a game, or go shopping. Find something that doesn’t have any pressure attached to it — skip competitive sports, for example, if your teen is already stressed about competing for grades.
Defeat negative attitudes. Stress overload can bring some big feelings of negativity! Your teen might feel like she’ll never get into college or never finish some big school project. There are ways to cope with these feelings. For example, an overwhelming project can be broken down into a task list of smaller projects. For college acceptance worries, you could make sure she applies to a range of “dream” schools and “definite yes” schools. I didn’t apply to my “dream” school because I was sure they wouldn’t accept me. Now I’ll never know!
With apologies to Kermit the Frog… it’s not easy being teen. You may not be able to change the things that are stressing your teen out, but you can help your teen cope with them.