The other day Jade sent me a link to a Chicago Tribune story titled “Practicing abstinence, bride and groom have never kissed” by Vikki Ortiz. It was about a couple, 30-year-old Claudaniel Fabien and his 28-year-old bride Melody LaLuz, who decided to abstain not only from sex before marriage, but from even kissing on the lips.
Jade’s subject line when she sent the link read “Good luck with this one.” I’m surprised she didn’t say “Have fun with this one” or “Can you believe this one?”
I’ve had to let it digest for a few days before writing about it. While some are praising the couple, I’m appalled.
Not even kissing before you’re married? On purpose? Not because of some religious belief holding you back? I just can’t wrap my mind around it at all.
Apparently they’re both teachers who preach abstinence to the teens at Chicago Public Schools. They wanted to set an example and truly “practice what they preach.”
This meant doing things like never being alone in the house together, or not snuggling lying down when they were watching movies.
Okay, for teens I can understand that. Their bodies are raging full of hormones, are developing at lightning speeds, and their maturity level isn’t quite up to par.
Fabien and LaLuz are adults. They were friends for two years before they got involved, and then were involved for a year before marriage. They must have kissed other people before. I’m willing to venture they even slept with other people before. (I’m assuming that because if they’d also both been virgins I’m sure the article would have gone on to point that out.)
I can semi-sort of see not sleeping with someone pre-marriage. But not kissing them? That’s just flat out ridiculous.
Yet, I got the impression from the article that they felt they were doing a very noble thing and should be hailed as heroes.
I don’t see why. Kissing is intimacy and any healthy relationship rejoices in intimacy. Denying that is denying your relationship the right to be healthy.
Humans express themselves physically. Adults in a committed relationship have that right. Teens abuse it. I get that they were trying to set a good example. But why would the teens they teach know if they were having sex or not anyway? Why is it that their personal life should enter the classroom in such a manner?
And then there’s LaLuz’s retort to the “test drive the car before you buy” analogy. Her comeback is “You can’t take the car out of the parking lot until you pay for it.”
What does that even mean? If you’re car’s in a parking lot, you’ve already had to buy it to park it there.
Oh well. They’re married now and free to kiss at will. I hope they revved their engine and screamed out of the parking lot after they had the ceremony making it okay to do so.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.
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