I hate to say this, but I was not excited about my second pregnancy. My first baby was only seven months old when I took the pregnancy test, and I was not prepared for another baby at home. I mentally ignored the fact that I was pregnant as my belly grew. It was a completely different experience than my first pregnancy, which my husband and I had planned for five or six months.
My water broke at six am, and we headed to the hospital. I remember I was reading Eat, Pray, Love through the beginning of the labor. The pitocin kicked in around one o’clock and Miley was born at 3:22. My husband and mother had been in the delivery room with me. My grandma and great aunt were in the waiting room. After the birth, everyone came in Ohhing and Ahhing over the baby. Others visited throughout the day, including my nana with my oldest, who was 14 months old at that time.
Finally around eight or nine o’clock, everyone had left and I was alone with this baby. This tiny little baby who I had ignored while she was growing in my belly. I looked into her little eyes and my heart exploded. I became overwhelmed. I cried as I looked at this little girl who was inside me just hours before. I fell in love with that sweet little girl. I remember just sitting in the hospital bed and holding her, staring at her beautiful face, and not wanting the moment to end.
I treasure this memory. It’s probably one of the best moments of my life. I didn’t have a bonding moment like this with my first, who I was obsessed with since the moment I had found out I was pregnant. I loved her from day one. And it’s not that I didn’t love Miley; I remember at 19 weeks having to go to the emergency room because of cramps. They couldn’t find anything wrong and I was scared to death that I might have lost her. But it wasn’t the same through the pregnancy.
I will never forget that moment, and often, when I look at her, it comes back to me, that overwhelming moment when I knew that she was my baby girl and that I would lay down my life for hers. That no matter what happens, I would love her. That for the rest of my days, I would be bonded to that little girl laying in my arms.