The uniqueness of A Euro-American on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China is that adoptive parent Chris Winston has not only encouraged her children to feel pride in their Korean heritage, but has made connections with Koreans and Korean-Americans on a scale most adoptive parents have only dimly imagined.
Winston helped to begin both Friends of Korea, a regional group (in Sacramento) for adoptive families that welcomes anyone interested in Korea, and the Korean American Adoptee/Adoptive Family Network (KAAN), a national networking organization linking groups and individuals concerned with adoption from Korea.
Winston and her husband had one son by birth when they adopted a Korean toddler, then a Korean five-year-old. At a time when it was uncommon, and in fact often discouraged, for adoptive families to travel to pick up their children in Korea, the Winstons’ entire family did so both times. Winston shares some of the impact on her Euro-American son of the trips, the adoptions, the visibility of their multiracial family, and the emphasis on Korean culture and language in their household.
Winston share her story of beginning the adoption process simply wanting to add children to her family and believing she could vie them a better life. She found that her children needed a positive view of their culture and of other Koreans and Korean-Americans as well. Despite living in what she thought was a diverse area (Time magazine in 2002 called Sacramento “the most diverse city in America”), Winston realized that her children still had a minority experience and faced stereotypes which, while often not malignant, were still uncomfortable.
For her children’s well-being, Winston began trying to reach out to Korean-Americans. In many ways this book can be used as a blueprint, or at least a starting point, for how to do that. Winston shares her successes and frustrations.
Winston addresses the issues of showing children you value their culture of origin without seeming to take over. She talks about topics such as birthparent searches and reunions, dealing with racism, stereotypical songs being sung in school, and more.
Unique to this book is the inclusion of the story told by a young man raised in a Korean orphanage. In the controversy over international and transracial adoption, we have heard from Koreans, adoptive parents, adoptees and occasionally birthparents, but too often another important facet is ignored: what is the picture like for those who are not adopted? Winston points out that many adopted children struggle in their new families and it is arrogant to assume that adoption is the best option. While indeed it may be for some, we must not assume that we are merely rescuing children from a poorer country. Adoptive parents are just as enriched by their children as children are by their parents.
Winston’s reflections on many issues deserve multiple re-readings to fully benefit from her insights. Not least of these insights is that every adoptee, birth family, adoptive family–indeed every person–has a unique story and experiences things in a unique way, through the filter of their own experiences and expectations. Winston broadens our filters when she shares the glimpses she has had into adoption and culture–glimpses which she sees through her own filter—not only as a mother by birth and adoption, but of being A Euro-American on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China.
Please see these related blogs:
Considerations in Adopting When You Already Have Children: Shared or Different Heritages