The long wait common in international adoptions can seem inconceivable to children. When their mother is pregnant, older children can see that the baby is there, see the mother’s belly growing and hear the baby’s heartbeat at the mother’s doctor visits. They can be given an approximate date for the baby’s arrival, or at least a general time frame like “just after next Valentine’s Day”. In an international adoption, there is no such certainty and no markers along the way.
A children’s book which is unique in addressing this aspect of international adoption is Bringing Asha Home, by Uma Krishnaswami, illustrated by Jamel Akib. The book opens in August with seven-year-old Arun, the son of an Indian-American father and a European-American mother, telling his friend Michael about a Northern Indian holiday called Rakhi, in which sisters give bracelets to their brothers, siblings promise to be good to each other, and special sweets are eaten. Arun wishes he had a sister.
When Arun’s parents tell him in October that he will have a sister, Arun assumes she will come from the hospital like Michael’s sister. But Arun’s sister is in India, and there are many rules and laws to follow. Arun hopes his sister will be home for his March birthday, but his parents get a phone call saying there is another delay.
Arun receives pictures in the mail of his sister, and makes paper airplanes which he pretends are flying his father to India and his father and sister back home again. When school is out in June, he helps his parents prepare the baby’s room. He makes a special plane as a gift for the baby.
Arun and his parents have a first birthday party for Asha in July. Neighbors and relatives bring gifts and there is a cake, but Arun will help Asha open the presents when she arrives home.
Finally, The Call comes. Arun’s father goes to India. Arun observes his friend’s sister and wonders if his sister can walk yet. He hopes she doesn’t cry a lot. Finally Arun and his mother go to the airport to meet Arun’s father and Asha. Asha is clutching Arun’s airplane—and a Rakhi bracelet for her brother.
Please see these related blogs:
Promoting a Positive Sibling Adjustment
Preparing the Sibling-In-Waiting Before Adoption Occurs