Seldom do we find books written from the perspective of a foster child. In The Handle and the Key, one of the few adoption books for children in between the picture book stage and the teen novel stage, John Neufeld manages to get inside the head of the young boy, Dan, who is being adopted. He shows us little things, like Dan not knowing what is meant when other boys ask him to play “tag”.
Indeed Dan is not sure what to do when told to “play” at all. In his previous foster homes he had to work. He longs to do that here too, to prove his value to this new family. He fears his family will not have time for him after the new baby arrives. The same thing has happened in some of his previous foster families
Adding to Dan’s confusion is the neighbor boy, who tells Dan that many foster children have come and gone from the Knox’s home in the past. This leads Dan to further distrust what he has been told.
The neighbor child’s mother then forbids her son to play with Dan, telling him that foster children have lots of problems and have been exposed to many things, which her son interprets to mean diseases like chicken pox and measles.
The Knoxes’ older daughter doesn’t make things any easier for Dan. Jealous and mean, she is hard to like, although the author shows us a few events from her perspective—having to constantly explain her parents’ choices to other kids, being neglected when her parents’ acquaintances exclaim over the new child, being vulnerable to classmates’ misperceptions about foster care and adoption.
Subtle details are deeply affecting. Dan celebrates what he is told is his “birthday”, but it feels surreal to him. His unfamiliarity with the situation causes him to try to analyze his behavior rather than enjoy the celebration. He longs for rules, fearing that he will be sent back if he doesn’t follow them. When the family plans a field trip to the State Capitol Building, Dan panics and runs off—the child welfare home is in the state capital, and it is to there that he has been returned so many times when foster families tired of him.
In the beginning, Dan listens to “Mother” and “Father”. After incidents which lead him to a deeper trust with first Father and then Mother, quotations no longer appear around their names in Dan’s thoughts.
This middle-grade novel would be good for parents and siblings adopting from the foster care system. I believe it would be good for kids ages nine and up whether they have a direct connection to adoption or not. The book is never graphic or detailed about the implied maltreatment in Dan’s previous foster families, and it gives kids a gentle but good introduction into the fact that not all kids have what they do—the right to play, for instance.
Please read these related blogs:
There is a Foster Child on Your Doorstep
Things All Children Should Know about Adoption
Thinking “Attachment” During the Honeymoon.
Adoption Transitions: From Foster Child to Forever