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Book Review: Weaving a Family Untangling Race and Adoption

Barbara Katz Rothman is a sociologist. Much of her work has focused on the meaning of motherhood—ranging from studies of the modern midwifery movement, to the consumer pressure to buy for one’s offspring, to the Human Genome Project and the impact of genetics on identity and culture.

These two interests– what it means to be a mother and what genes have to do with identity–merged when Rothman and her husband adopted an African-American infant.

Rothman’s book Weaving a Family: Untangling Race and Adoption shares her insights, both professional and personal, on transracial adoption.

Rothman’s title is inspired by the experience mothers of African-American children have of learning to do their children’s hair, and of bonding with their children during the time spent caring for their hair.

Rothman’s vocation as a sociologist leads her to interesting reflections on race and family. The book flows as if the author were speaking. It is not riddled with too much academic language, despite Rothman’s humorous claim that sociologists are the opposite of journalists—journalists strive to make complicated issues accessible to the average reader and sociologists take what seem to be obvious relationships—mother and child, sister and brother—and often “complicate” them by analyzing how they came to be accepted as obvious and what deeper meanings they may have.

Rothman set out to research how black children raised by white parents reentered the black community when they were older. She was discouraged to find that there was little material on the subject. Rothman then researched transracial adoptions and also “mentor” relationships going back into the time of slavery. She believes that some white parent figures conceived of the black children as protégés, pets, or “trophy children”.

By “trophy child”, Rothman means the child as a symbol: of the parents’ racial tolerance, hipness, desire to create a colorblind society or, conversely, to actively celebrate a multicultural one. These parents initially think of the adoption as a statement, although they do come to love the child as an individual.

Rothman tells the interesting story of Josephine Baker, a wealthy African-American musician who, in the 1950, desired to create a “rainbow tribe” by adopting twelve children from all over the world.

While in Columbia, Baker was told that some locals were against adoption because they feared the motives of white people adopting Latino children. Baker, astonished, pointed out that she was not white. She was told that yes, in Columbia, her money and status made her “white”, regardless of her skin color. (To be allowed to adopt a white child, Baker had to travel to an orphanage in Finland.)

Rothman returns to the subject of hair. Initially her instinct was to admire her child’s hair in its natural state, but her African-American neighbors, and later her daughter’s friends’ families, guided her “gently but firmly” into doing her hair “properly”—either braided, hot-combed, or some other style. Rothman mentions that some white adoptive parents are adamant about celebrating their child’s heritage by leaving it in an Afro, but she has come to realize that having her daughter’s hair done in a way that is considered proper in the African-American community is part of teaching her child to identify with her culture. She feels that children whose hair is not done are sometimes pitied as appearing “motherless”. (See our blogger Rachel’s entry: Why is Hair an Adoption Issue? )

Rothman tells of being on a panel as an adoptive parent. Also on the panel were an adult transracial adoptee and a social worker who opposed transracial adoptions. Rothman had had a difficult day juggling her daughter’s needs and was at first angered when the African-American social worker called transracial adoption “cultural genocide”. However, she understood better after she heard the transracial adoptee talk and realized that although the adoptee had grown into a happy, educated individual who endorsed transracial adoption, she also revealed a total lack of knowledge about the African-American culture that she wasn’t a part of. Rothman began to see the social worker’s point.

This book is more about pondering the questions than attempting to show answers. But discovering the questions is perhaps an education in itself.

Please see these related blogs:

Book Review: Inside Transracial Adoption

Barriers to Transracial Adoption

Is Transracial Adoption Necessary?

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About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!