I came across the “Book Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child” by Dr. Kathy Lancaster while waiting for my son to be born. During that time I read a number of books on parenting adopted children, but especially enjoyed this book because she writes clearly and concisely on a number of adoption topics including, but not limited to, bonding and attachment, developmental stages of children and adoption, and special needs adoption. It is also a very readable book that is easy is to understand and is not laden with medical and psychological jargon.
Dr. Kathy Lancaster is also a parent of two adopted children and is able to draw on her real life experiences of parenting an adopted child. She also has written a number of books and provides presentations on adoption to professionals in the field. In her book “Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child” she offers real life solutions for both parents and children confronted with the challenges of adoption.
A chapter that I found most helpful was on the topic of when “people ask about adoption”. She recognizes that families built through adoption are often confronted with inappropriate questions about adoption. She explains that this could be due to unspoken prejudices or racism, but it also can come from the playground as well. She then discusses the proactive responses that a parent and child can make when faced with inappropriate questions. In her examples she gives humor to the answers and provides a sense of control and empowerment for the child. Following are some examples she provides for some tough questions:
To A Child
Q. How come you don’t look like your Parents?
A. They are older than I am.
To a Parent
Q. What were her “real” parents like?
A. Well, I’m 38 years old, 5’2”, and on the slim side.
This book will be helpful for those who are planning or in the process of adopting or for those who have already adopted a child. She writes with a positive outlook and tone. She talks about the challenges that may confront families with adopted children but offers realistic solutions, feedback, and advice to help raise well-adjusted children
You can buy this book by visiting Amazon.com or visiting Kathy Lancaster.com