In our last blog in this series, we looked at how Joyce, an elder of her church, introduced a victim of sexual crime who was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder to a “so-called” Christian counselor, the latter telling the afflicted woman that “God had given her this burden to work through”.
As I discussed previously, this is a cruel and untrue statement, but to say such things to a person who is distressed and struggling under an enormous load is nothing short of sadistic. And yet these misguided “Christians continue to have the arrogance to believe that they can cure all kinds of illnesses simply by “praying out the demons”. Of course, when the demons do not leave, the so-called Christians invariably do. But not before telling the hapless victims that they must want the demons to stay, are rejecting God and that is why they have not recovered.
But let us continue on with Joyce, the initial woman who stepped in to help our distressed friend. One day the distressed woman phoned Joyce. She was phoning to ask how Joyce’s daughter was, who had recently become ill. She was not phoning to ask Joyce for any help as she knew Joyce was busy helping her daughter. So in spite of her own pain, this woman was able to respect the boundaries of Joyce and not ask her for help during the time that Joyce was otherwise occupied.
But what a shock was waiting for her at the end of the phone. Joyce told this woman that she had sent her a letter and it was unfortunate that she had rung because now she had to tell her personally that she never wanted to see her again. Dumbfounded, the woman asked “Do you mean for all time?” “Yes, replied Joyce, “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
The reason Joyce gave was that, in the odd hour that she spent with her, she felt “uncomfortable” and “unhappy” during the drive home to her house, a journey of maybe 15 minutes. Therefore, for the sake of her own health (and this woman is in robust health) she felt “uncomfortable” and wanted to end the relationship.
I am pleased to say that the victim of this cold and heartless incident had the presence of mind to say to Joyce “Well, if you can’t handle 20 minutes of pain, then how do you think I feel living it 24/7?” Joyce then went on to say that she felt that she couldn’t “heal” her and so it was basically all too difficult for her.
And herein lies the problem with many born-again Christians who believe they have the power to heal or that God will heal and that is basically all they have to offer. Because Joyce has nothing other to offer that the hope that God will heal, and she has no personal resources of her own with which to help others, when God “fails” she has to get out of the situation because it is too painful for her. And she cares nothing for the pain that she inflicts on her victim.
Sadly, I have heard variations on this same story over and over again from so many of my clients. People with mental health problems need love and support, not false promises and a quick exit when things don’t go to plan. These people do more harm than good and yet their arrogance that they are God’s elite people makes them blind to the problems they leave in their wake.
As I have said in previous articles on this topic, if you can’t walk the walk, then don’t even start talking the talk.
Contact Beth McHugh for further assistance regarding this issue.
Want an easier way to keep abreast of Beth’s latest blogs? By clicking on the “Subscribe via Email” link in the subscription box to the right, you will receive email notification of each new blog as it is published.
Related articles:
Born Again Christians a Potential Threat to Mental Health Sufferers (1)
Still Talking but Not Walking?
Mental Health through the Lifespan