Whose job is it to get up in the middle of the night to tend to a crying infant? There was a time when the automatic assumption was that this task was entirely for the mother. Today, there are plenty of parents who realize that there are good reasons to share this responsibility.
Babies are incredibly cute. They can also be exhausting. Many babies simply refuse to sleep through the night. They loudly let their parents know that they need a diaper change or want to be fed. At least one parent needs to get up to tend to the baby. It doesn’t have to be both parents at the same time, but it should be a task that each parent shares in.
In some families, one parent works full time (or at more than one part-time job) while the other stays home with the baby. In other families, both parents spend at least part of their day in the workplace and the infant is watched by family members or day care workers.
What is true in both situations is that parents of young children are often sleep deprived. One way to alleviate the degree of sleep deprivation that occurs is for parents to take turns getting up at night to care for the baby.
One parent gets up now, and the other parent gets up the next time the baby cries at night. Another option is for one parent to have the responsibility tonight and have the other parent take over tomorrow night.
A parent that spends hours of the day at work can bond with their baby by rocking him or her back to sleep at night. It gives that parent a chance to do some “hands on” parenting. A parent who is with the baby all day reinforces that he or she is still there at night and available to provide care. This can help the baby to feel secure and safe.
Another reason to share the responsibility is that it enables each parent to take a “break”. A person who is perpetually sleep deprived has an increased chance of making mistakes, of lashing out at others, and falling asleep in a situation where that can be dangerous. It’s not safe to expect only one parent to always have the responsibility of getting up at night when the baby cries.
People who lack sleep become unsafe drivers. They start making mistakes that they would not have made if they’d had enough sleep. This could result in car accidents, problems in the workplace, or a parent yelling at a newborn who won’t stop crying. Splitting the responsibility of getting up at night to tend to an infant makes things safer, and more fair, for both parents.
Image by Heather Williams on Flickr.
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