There’s no easy way to tell your children that you are getting divorced. As children they want nothing more than for Mom and Dad to be together, but sometimes that isn’t possible. As soon as you have decided to move forward with the divorce talk to your kids about it. If at all possible, have both parents present for the conversation. Talk beforehand about what you are going to tell the children. Don’t play the blame game. Keep things as simple as possible. Explain to them that while many things are changing, the one thing that hasn’t changed is that you both still love them very much. Reassure them that the divorce isn’t their fault. Many children blame themselves for their parent’s problems so it is important to continually remind them that this was between Mommy and Daddy and that they had nothing to do with it.
Make the conversation age appropriate. This is a confusing time for everyone involved, your children don’t need all the details about why you got divorced. They don’t need to know whose fault it is, all they need to know is that you are going to be living apart. Answer their questions as truthfully as you can. Older children especially may have more questions about the divorce, as they may have been more in tune with what their parents have been going through based on what they’ve overheard in conversations and fights in the home.
Explain the things that are going to be changing, but also explain things that will remain the same. This gives them a chance to prepare for the things that are coming in their little lives so that they can better handle the situation. Divorce affects the children in many ways, but it doesn’t have to be completely devastating for them. Do everything you can to give them the stability they need during this very unstable time in their lives. Show them that you love them and they will make it through just fine.