A friend of mine shared her struggles with me of trying to help her husband desire a relationship with Jesus. They met during a time neither of them knew the Lord; while they’d been using illegal drugs. My friend worked to stay grounded in church upon receiving Christ and became over eager to convert her husband. This seemed to cause him to resist her. He thought she’d really lost it. The more she backed off the more open he was to supporting her (as he saw it) by going to Easter and Christmas services.
My husband was not a believer when we met. When I felt our relationship was very serious I knew the Lord was tugging on my heart reminding me of the struggles that would come as a result of a Godless relationship. I knew I needed to get my own life back on track if I was to be any example to my then boyfriend. I nonchalantly invited him to church where he saw an evening performance of “Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames” which depicted the final moments of several people’s lives prior to their death, as well as where they went for eternity. My husband would suggest he was scared into salvation. But it was that night he, on his own, went forward in prayer asking Christ into his life. I recommitted myself to my faith that night along side of him.
For whatever reason, I was much more eager to grow than my husband. Likely the early seeds which were planted in my life had a lot to do with my desire to mature spiritually. I prayed for my husband but unfortunately I nagged him more than I brought encouragement. I wanted to see him grow at least at the same pace I thought I was. I wanted him to be the spiritual leader of our home. The more I nagged, the less interested he became in Christianity. He didn’t believe he was capable of being the man I’d wanted him to be.
When in prayer, I finally began to listen to what God was laying on my heart. I needed to back off! God was more than capable of touching my husband’s hardened heart without me getting in the way discouraging him. As my friend has also grasped the concept of allowing God to be God in faith, she too has slowly seen growth in her husband. Our actions seem to speak much louder than our nagging ever did. No, my husband isn’t the spiritual leader I wanted him to be—better yet, he’s growing in to the spiritual leader role God intended for him! It has taken years but I’m glad to see my husband where he is.
I hope this blog will be reminder to some in similar positions to keep praying, focus on your own walk, and in faith trust God is capable of touching a spouse’s life and providing the opportunities for their growth.
Please visit these related blogs:
Holding a Crown Over Your Spouse’s Head
Wives, Submit to Your Husbands
Guiding a Loved One to the Cross