Think of the first time someone broke a promise to you. How did it make you feel? How old were you? Broken promises are hurtful even when the reason is legitimate. You may understand the reason and support the choice but hurt will exist. Of course you will get over it and learn yet again that promises are not always promises. However, a child is not as quick to get over a broken promise. It may appear a child bounces right back since hours after crying she is laughing and playing like nothing every happened. Yet, something did happen and that something has changed her perspective on life. She is quickly learning that a promise is something that can be broken and giving your word is about as good as putting a wooden nickel in the gumball machine.
A promise is defined as a commitment by another person that he or she will or will not do something. As adults we give grace all the time to broken promises either because we understand how difficult they can be to keep or we are just so used to a promise being meaningless. Is this the legacy we want for our children? Do we want our children to be jaded or be givers of broken promises?
The solution is not to casually grant promises. Do not promise to take your child for ice cream. Do not make promises if you are the noncustodial parent that you cannot make. Do not promise everything will be okay and three days later the house forecloses. Instead, tell your child that you will do your best to do something. Let them know that you will do something as long as nothing comes up to prevent it. Be honest in your promises and only promise what you KNOW you can deliver.
I was blessed to grow up in a home where promises were promises. Yet, I grew jaded rather quickly once I realized it was not that way in the world outside of my home. Let’s make a promise to ourselves to never promise something to a child or another adult unless we know we can fulfill it.