Building trust can take a long time. But on the other hand, it can take just a moment to tear it down. This is why establishing trust on a consistent basis with your teen is so important.
Losing a teen’s trust is a slippery slope. Broken enough times, it could be lost forever…or for at least a very long time.
Sometimes we try to force our teens to trust us. Okay, maybe it’s just me.
With one of my teens in particular, I tend to try this. This teen is very difficult to crack through and has earned the nickname, “The Clam” because it’s hard to get anything out.
The reality is that our teens will come to us when they are ready. Sometimes they aren’t ready because we have done something to cause them doubt. Other times it is just for the sheer fact they are teenagers. They would much rather go to a friend.
This is why we have to take advantage of every opportunity that comes our way to show we can be trusted. Especially since some of these moments are few and far between.
One of the ways you can build your teen’s trust is by making it safe to talk with you. If they know that as soon as their mouth opens, you are going to be jumping down their throat, there won’t be any reason to share.
Another way you can build trust is by honoring their requests, such as “Don’t tell so-and-so.” I broke my teens’ trust a few times when I “vented” to my mother. Well, they didn’t want grandma knowing about their business and they let me know it.
You can also build trust by listening without judgment. It doesn’t mean you won’t have advice or opinions to offer. But be careful that you aren’t coming across as judgmental.
Trust can be earned. But you have to do your part to earn it.
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