Do you get angry when other people try to counsel you about your marriage? It’s understandable, since marriage is a private relationship. However, there are times when outside influences can help your marriage or help you and your spouse through a particular struggle.
We often hear horror stories or jokes about mothers-in-law, but even in-laws can be a good source of help and advice on occasion. This is especially true if the in-law in question is an objective observer and gives fair-minded advice.
I have to give my mom credit for fitting the above description. Early in my marriage, I would sometimes call to complain about my husband, expecting Mom to take my side. When that didn’t happen, I’d get huffy and quickly get off the phone. One time, my mom called back and said, “Listen, I love both of you and I know that you two can work things out. I don’t want to take sides or get in the middle.” She went on to explain that my husband is now her “son.” She would no more take sides between her real son, my brother, and me than she would between my husband and me.
That made a lot of sense and she has been a valuable source of advice for both me and my husband. Since his mother passed away, he now has my mom to turn to. That would not have been the case, had she taken sides or taken the opportunity to disparage him.
So, while some in laws and friends can be busy bodies, try to recognize that some are not and only want what’s best for both of you. These are the people to be close with, even if it is tempting to vent your frustrations to the people that will just tell you what you want to hear when you are angry or upset with your spouse.