Today we played outside. Ok, I don’t quite tell the truth there. Today my daughter played outside for hours while I cleaned the kitchen. I love it that she can play outside with other children in a safe environment. It’s such a privilege to have this open space, and it is a delight to have other children around to play with. I especially like the fact that all of the parents keep an eye out for the children.
I don’t want to wax rhapsodic about our outdoor play space again, however. What is just as important as the connection of children is the connection between children and their parents. Many like Neufeld would argue that this connection is by far the most important one of all. Having strong family ties will set a good foundation for future well-being and socialization.
If you’re trying to raise free-range children, how do you negotiate between the desire to let them be, play forts, and make mud-pies without adults and the desire to intervene, to help your child negotiate social situations and to sooth hurt feelings?
My balance has been to call my child home. I do this every so often, particularly when I sense that the situation outside might be exciting, tense, or clique-forming. I check in with my daughter by calling her over on some invented errand. Then I check to see how she is doing, giving her social strategies if she needs them, give her a hug and a snack and send her outside again. These little connection points reestablish her family as the primary point of contact when she needs help, whether that is physically or socially. If we end up at our local community school for grade one, I am going to do the same thing by bringing her home for lunch a few days a week. I think that it’s healthy to connect back with your family as the center of your being and social behavior before you head back out into the big wide world.
Do you have free-range kids? How do you balance independence and connection?